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THE EMERALD BURRITO OF OZ
John Skipp & Marc Levinthal
"The Cold War is over. There is no reason to hide the existence of this magical place any longer. I accept the responisbility for this breach of national security, and am willing to face the consequences." -- Noel Blizheimer, ex-CIA operative
"Keep walkin' and see where ya get." -- Joe Snelling, farmer and original Barn owner in Salina, KS
"Happity HI oh Yay!!!!" -- Gene's Superbook
"One word of caution: only a small percentage of Language Bushes are sentient ... Always ask permission before plucking off any of the leaves." -- So You're Going to Oz, U.S. Government handbook
"You haven't lived until you've posed nekkid for a roomful of sweaty Munchkin artistes." -- Aurora Q. Jones
 Read an excerpt:
One download -- 66 pages -- 348k
by chapters 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
REVIEW:
'Here's an unusual story for you. In the not too distant future, the government reveals that it has secretly been in contact with Oz for many years. It is possible to visit, although the portal doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes they're left standing where they were, on other occasions they die in spectacular fashion. The protagonist decides to emigrate in search of the woman he admires, and finds himself in a strange land where unoccupied cars travel about in packs and electric guitars grow on trees. He also arrives just in time to get caught up in a war between the legitimate rulers, Ozma and Glinda, and the army of the Hollow Man, a would-be usurper. Fortunately, our hero has brought with him a remarkable laptop computer which becomes sentient in Oz. This is an authentic Oz novel, but it starts and ends in very strange places, and the middle is pretty weird as well. The story sets its claws in your imagination early on, and never lets go through a series of adventures, confrontations, and revelations. For the weird little kid in you.'
— Don D'Ammassa, Science Fiction Chronicle, April 2001, Issue 211
YOUR FEEDBACK:
*****Don't bogart my scotchguard!
In every generation there is a beacon of hope that blinks through the dark nights of the republican administrations that mysteriously appear like jagged reefs that elude sonor. This is one such beacon that says, "hey, there are still some free minds out here that refuse to be confined! stop watching Survivor, put down that can of Slim Fast, and crack open a book!" THE EMERALD BURRITO should be on every coffee table from Pocatello, Idaho to the farthest reaches uncharted Siberia! This is the real pasport to happiness, so put that prozac in the blender and save it for your next oatmeal bender.
So, fellow literary cognicente, this book will love you, even if you're wearing crotchless purple-fuzzy stretch pants and a tin foil sombrero on Alvarado Street, it will love you even after your mouth-breathing budwiser-drinking stuffed animals have gone berzerk with leaf blowers in the back seat of your El Dorado and your pygmy albino house keepers have all converted to catholocism. Go there, without fear or reservations. take a front row seat, put Elmer's glue between your toes, chainsmoke generic fish sticks and open up your mind. I mean really, who cares what the neighbors say?!
Dr. Emil Zoloft from West Trona, California USA
(off Amazon.com, August 14, 2001)
*****Apocalypse Oz
What do you get when you mix the magical land of Oz, CIA hijinks, a possessed laptop, occasional dismemberment, fabulous Mexican food, and a hottie named Aurora Quixote Jones? THE EMERALD BURRITO OF OZ, of course! This ain't your daddy's Oz, no question. Instead, it's more like APOCALYPSE NOW meets THE WIZARD OF OZ as directed by Terry Gilliam. Authors John Skipp (of Skipp & Spector splatterpunk fame) and Marc Levinthal (who co-wrote the score for the film VALLEY GIRL) reinvent Oz for the new Millennium, managing to make the fabled land over the rainbow wonderful and surreal and comic and terrifying. GET THIS BOOK!!!!
— Scott Bradley from Los Angeles, California USA
(off Amazon.com, February 14, 2001)
*****FanTABulous!
It's a rare thing when the atmosphere in a book seems so real and speaks to me on such a level that I want to find a way in and live there. "Burrito" was like "The Wizard of Oz" on acid. Trippy, dippy, full 'o' fun. The safest form of pure escapism that I've had the pleasure to come across in a oooooong time. One of the things that makes this stellar read so much fun is the character's familiarity, but all twisted up in a whole new light. I especially loved the TinMan, nuff said. The writers really know how to make you see what & who they're talking about, even if you've never seen them or it before. I loved the relationships between everyone and REALLY loved a certain little, oh I don't know what to call him, gremlin(?) and the way he mangled the English language. You know what they say about singers? How only a truly great singer can sing off key? Carol Burnett and her comedy sketches come to mind. Well, this amazing book shows that it's doubly true for writers. I didn't want it end and I wish there was more. Now where's that gate?
— bonesawmcgee from Garwood, NJ United States
(off Amazon.com, January 18, 2001)
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